rtg7

Poor English, it is how our minds work.

Is there something in your life that you WIW? I cannot tell you how many pages of paper, reems of paper, that I could fill up with answers to that question. Moments are fleeting, if the criteria of your WIW checks out, then why not?

Criteria:

Does it hurt you? Does it hurt others? Is it illegal? What is the worst that can happen? Can I live with the worst?

You might have more questions; those are my main. Affordability? Yes, that is always a concern, and yet it does not make my list. At times we might have to overextend ourselves for certain opportunities or experiences. The first one of the criteria can attest for that too, if it does not hurt you, maybe you just go ahead.

I am not going to go through a list of things that I WIW, though there are a few that I did that when logic might have stopped me. Traveling 24 hours in a car to go see Springsteen? Should I? Probably not. Did I? Yes, and so glad I did. I met so many great people that night, Brett Hull, The Romantics and got the chance to spend a couple of hours with Little Steven (The person who invited me and introduced me to the others). Great night and could have been a a WIW.

There are also times that I have had a few, I AM GLAD I DIDN’T. I had a chance to go to a fantasy baseball camp with a friend. He paid for the entire trip and the morning we were leaving, I backed out. Late the night before I received a call from my boss, and he asked me not to go. He had a meeting with a potential investor that week and he wanted me there. (He had already cleared the trip) There was a gnawing feeling inside that would not leave, so I got up early in the morning, and made the very uncomfortable call.

There are times in our lives that windows open, windows of opportunity, and then they close. Certain things you can do at 30, you cannot do at 60. There are things that you can still do at 60 that you might not be able to do at 75. Then when you start losing your friends and siblings in your late 60’s and early 70’s, you realize that many people leave this earth with unfulfilled dreams or aspirations. Our health also has a lot to do with what you do or don’t do. Physically, there are chances that we have that we do not take that we may never get again in our lives.

No preaching! No preaching at all, just a thought. While doors and windows are open, you might want to choose to take the chance. One of the hollowest feelings that we can have is to exit life with too many ‘Wish I Woulda’s’. I don’t dwell on mine, that can be harmful, I just look ahead to my opportunities to do!

I am computer overload for a guy that does not know a lot about computers. Years ago, my children convinced me to switch to the Apple products and they are all that I have used. A couple of years ago some things changed and found me running the Dale Carnegie franchise in Jacksonville Florida. One of the criteria was the type of computer needed, which I went out and purchased per their specs. Window based and a nice computer.

Over the last couple of years, I find that I still do 99% of my work on the Apple’s, and that maybe this purchase was not necessary. This morning as I sat at my desk doing some “Catch Up” work, I picked up the HP and decided to use it today…WOW…I forgot how much I like it. This keyboard is the most comfortable to use and it is a pleasure to work on, though there are a couple of keys that are in the wrong place (For Me) because of my familiarity with the APPLE products.

A couple of points that I will make before I go on, both Best Buy and Microsoft did me wrong. The gentleman at Best Buy told me one thing about a software upgrade that was needed, I paid for it and then found out that it was the wrong software. Best Buy gave me a coupon to purchase the upgrade from Microsoft, and in the end, I paid twice for the software upgrade. The run around that I was given was not worth the effort and stress it was taking; I ate the cost and chalked it off as a lesson learned.

Nice computer, though I am not skilled at using it. Way too much computer for my needs, I am sure. Yes, I am down to the part where I am just rambling, mainly because I like to write on this computer, maybe this is the one I will use to write a book…Oh, do not get me started! I have purchased a lot of software for that too! Wasted Days and Wasted Nights! I remember that song.

I need to make a promise to myself, to start writing here on a more consistent basis and find out where I can also send the words I write. I know that I am a member of Medium, there are probably other places too. You say, ‘Who Cares?’ Okay, I got you! Really it does not matter what you think, don’t read. It is okay to do things like this for YOUR pleasure. if someone else finds pleasure in it, that is an added bonus.

I have a brother-in-law who writes songs, sure he would love to get them published and make a huge chunk of money, but the pleasure he gets out of putting his thoughts and emotions on paper, then putting music to it is amazing. Why would he EVER let someone else’s feelings about his creativity stop him from doing it? I mean, is it hurting anyone what he is doing? Absolutely NOT. Keep going, keep writing, it is YOUR life you should have a blast living it!

That is how I feel about writing, if someone takes a nugget and they can use it in a positive way, fantastic, if not, I will just keep writing…

I like that word “FANTASTIC”. One of the fondest memories of the use of that word was the album by Reggie Dwight, ‘Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy’. Oh yeah, I forgot he changed his name, Elton John. I wonder how they came up with that name of the album, some good tunes on there too. Elton was Captain Fantastic and Bernie Taupin, The Brown Dirt Cowboy. Fun!

Have a lot of other thoughts on my mind, I will get them out soon…thank you for reading, make it a great day!

Bob

Some rambling thoughts on this lovely Tuesday morning.

When tragedy strikes it seems that life takes a moment to breathe on its own, that is how I felt this last Sunday.

I believe that the purpose of fame, at times, is to make us all take an introspective look at OUR lives. The passing of Kobe Bryant was not more important than the passing of any of the other people aboard that helicopter, it just woke us up. Many of us sleep with the noise of a fan in our rooms and it helps us sleep, yet let some other noise hit our sleeping ears and it wakes us immediately. Kobe’s death was  that “Other” noise.

I don’t know much about Kobe Bryants’ life, and purposefully I am not going to research it. I know that he was a talented basketball player, one of the greatest ever and I saw him  play many times on television. I know that he went from high school to the NBA at age 17. I also am aware that his dad was a pro player, that Kobe wanted to play for the Los Angeles Lakers and that he got his wishes. He won championships, played with Shaq, and got beat badly in the finals one year by my Detroit Pistons. I also know that his career was not always a bed of roses.

Yes, there were downfalls, injuries, losses, arguments and a scandal. I do not know enough about the scandal other than what I have read and knowing that there is always hyperbole and conjecture, I will pass on any comment. It is what it is and nothing more or less…it is there. In all transparency, my sister was caught in a tragedy with a famous athlete and I remember the things said about her back in 1995 and the years that followed. Ugly things that I went back and read this morning, her husbands life was taken from him at age 43. So when the subject matter of scandals appear, I try to look at it from many different angles.

So that brings me to today, to this blog, to this view of life. We all travel down the path of life differently, with different challenges, different stimuli and definitely with different experiences. No two people are exactly the same, there is always something that is different, so judging a person is also done differently because of our own experiences. It would be nice NOT to judge, we all do. I choose to look for the good in someone, to take that mental picture of how I want to remember the person and when someone dies so young, that last picture seems to be frozen in our minds…and when that person has fame, it seems to be a bit more vibrant picture for some reason.

Elvis will never be older than 42 and that is how I see him, John Lennon, 40. Frozen in our mind, forever. Kobe, for me, will be 41 and a loving dad. I can see him as a young player, yet a dad at age 41 will be his lasting picture in my mind. I cannot tell you why, that is just it, so when we want to bring up the dirt from the floor we need to pause and ask “WHY?”. What good will that do to you? Will it make you feel better? Your wrongs less wrong? Will it make his surviving children feel better? Do you care? Again, I choose to remember him as a loving dad, hopping on a transport vehicle to get him, his daughter and some of her teammates to their game. No, that does not happen everyday in South Georgia, we drive, the world is different in LA. The same thing has happened in other areas, a van or car with players on the way to the game has crashed and people perished.

Life happens moment by moment all over the world. We complicate it. I was reading about the Lost City, in Columbia. Where you can sit and hear absolutely no sound from any man made invention, nothing but nature. We complicate it, we manipulate it for OUR pleasure. In reality, it is just there, if we are there, or not there, it is there. Even as I sit here in my home office, I look at it as quiet, when I listen closely I hear the hum of the cars on I-75 probably a half mile away and yet I have become so accustomed to them, I think it is quiet…it isn’t. We complicated it.

Kobe’s death is a tragedy, no more or less because of his fame and background, though his fame gives us a wake-up call to examine our life and what or who is important in it. He will always be, to me, 41 and a loving dad. Life happens, it is just there, always. It is just there, embrace it, live it, love it.

Here we are three weeks into the new year and I wonder how many of us have already fallen back into the old routine that we promised to leave behind with the end of 2018. I am not sure that any of us really truly know what is going on in our world anymore. The pace of change is at a speed that is incredibly elusive, we try to hold on, it is just next to impossible. I watch people striving to make money, others doing everything they can do just to slow the spinning down and most of us are holding on for dear life every day. Yes, the machine of life rages on.

What tools are we utilizing to help us get to where we want to be in the future? Some of us have a plan and a direction that we have set forth in our lives. Huge events that will define our year. I spoke with my daughter earlier today and we were talking about her writing skills. She told me that she does not do much writing anymore, that she is focusing on a smaller number of things, with her career path at the very top of the list. She also has her wedding coming up later in the year, so that is one of those HUGE events I mentioned earlier and it will be something that defines her year. When we finished our chat, I felt confident that she had a good grasp on the year ahead.

Now I am not one of the most organized people in the world, so many of the challenges that I experience are self-inflicted. When you add that to the complexities of life in 2019 the results can be disastrous. SO I have come up with five simple things that we can all do that will have a more positive effect on our year.

1) Trust Your Instincts

There are certain areas of our lives that when something happens we have this burning feeling in our gut that is shouting at us, and too often, we ignore it. If it is saying “NO” to somebody or saying “YES” to somebody, we usually do not act on our instinct. We start to rationalize it, dissect the issue or ask for outside influence. All of those things are good in their own time and place, it is just that too often, our own gut instinct is the best line for us to take. So this year, try to trust your own instincts at times.

2) Don’t Try To Please Everyone

One of my biggest challenges. I really do not like to let people down so I will tend to overpromise or try to do the impossible if someone asks for it. The only thing that happens is that I usually let them down and stress myself to my limits in trying not to. Included in this is saying exactly what you mean. I do not suggest that you be rude or obnoxious, yet there are times when we say things that box ourselves into a corner solely because we are trying to please the other person. Make it a habit to face the fear of the tough conversation, in the long run, you will be less stressed and more highly respected.

3) Avoid The Negativity of Pointless Drama

There are certain things in this life that we can control and those things we cannot. Learning to define those is an art for some people and a bottomless pit for those that cannot. To be informed as to what is going on in our world is important, to be immersed in the drama of the world can be dangerous. I try to avoid the news as much as possible. I have learned to go to certain places where I can get the facts without the opinions of others. Centering on those things I can control has brought a fresher feel to my life and my blood pressure spends more time at the lower end of the spectrum.

4) Be Good To You

In my line of work, I get to hear many people talk about their lives, their ups, and downs. One of the items that always grabs my attention is how some people speak negatively about themselves as a person. Now I am sure that all of us have a few qualities that we would like to improve on when it comes to who we are, but you do not have to broadcast your shortcomings to others over and over. Learn to speak highly of yourself, accentuate the positive parts of your personality and who you are. Our minds tend to lean towards the most dominant thoughts, so if you are constantly talking yourself down, you are in essence, paving the way for that behavior. By learning to live one day at a time, you can learn to eat healthier, think healthier and be healthier. If you have a bad day, put it behind you and start the next day with a clean slate.

5) Never Give Up On Your Dream

The pace of life can suck us into a certain lifestyle. So many of us get to the point that we are working to survive or living without purpose just waiting for that final breath. The rigors of life can be harsh and can push us offline and into a rut that we cannot get out of. Evaluate the things you want in your life, and then educate yourself on how to achieve them. Of course staying within reality is a must, because dreams that are not realistic can have a negative affect on us. Still, on the other hand, challenge yourself to goals that are realistic, ones that push your limits.

The calendar gives us this “End of the year” feel and the “Start of a new”, in reality, our bodies don’t know the difference. So if you get off target in the first month or the second, big deal, every day is a new opportunity for a fresh start. Because it says January or April makes no difference, you are an incredible creature that God put on this earth and today is the best day to start living the life you deserve!

In a time when the word kindness seems to be vanishing, here is a thought. Be Kind just to be KIND. The other day I was doing Facebook Live, and the topic was kindness, and why we should be kind. Following the session I received a text that said my words were off base, that kindness is only manipulation and always has been. I thought to myself, “Wow”, I just do not believe that.

My point of the talk was that we should BE KIND to BE KIND, not for the accolades it may bring. Mr. Carnegie said in his book How To Win Friends and Influence People, that we should “Make the other person feel important AND to do it SINCERELY.” Without that sincerity we are offering nothing but flattery, a means to get what we want. It is funny, the longer that my career as a Dale Carnegie Instructor goes on, the more my BS meter gets stronger. Which is also a self catching motivation, that when I am inclined to be kind because I want something, I back off and rethink the situation.

We walk in a world where kindness HAS taken a back seat. Selfishness seems to be driving the car most of the time and it is being reinforced all over. I remember a few years ago when the phrase “Pay it forward” came out. Great idea, yet when you go to the office and tell everyone that you “Paid it forward” it loses its sizzle quickly. I guess that was the purpose or the theme of my video. You see, holding the door for someone because they might say “Thank you” is the wrong reason to hold the door and saying after they walk in and do NOT thank you, “At least you could say thank you”, defeats the entire purpose also. Just do it, to DO it.

Our country, our world, seems to have shifted during my lifetime. When I was young respect for others was a way of life. There were certain jobs that just commanded the respect of parents, of people and of the citizens of the community. For many reasons this seems to have eroded, and some of those reason are just. Some are not. We cannot change the trend in one single act and we cannot make others change either. What we can do is control ourselves, our emotions, our words and our actions. We can reach out to others with kindness, just for the sake of being kind, with no thought of return. We can hold that door, just to hold the door and not worry about a “Thank You”, just to do it because that is who we are. If enough if us start doing that, it might make a change, if not, in our hearts we will know that kindness still lives…..

Inspire someone today!

I sat down to write my blog this morning and no words would come out. Usually when i sit down at the computer the thoughts just flow. There are days that I could write ten blogs, the thoughts and the words just come screeching out of my fingers and I have a ton of options and thoughts, today, nothing.

As I sit here, I ponder what is the challenge today? Why today? What is keeping my mind in the shutdown mode? I have a freshly brewed, freshly ground, cup of coffee. Island blend from World Market, strong, yet not to strong, and very favorable. Okay, I digress, back to the blog block.

So let me try to get the mental block that I am experiencing freed. I will try to do this by just putting down all of the things rumbling through my head, half thoughts, words, happenings, all of those things that have given me writers block. So hear goes; Fake news, hate, murder, Inauguration, protests, civil rights, commuting sentences, music, Aja, It’sMy Life-The Animals, hate (Oh, I already mentioned that), Huffington Post, work, classes, emails, lunch n learn, friends, talks, blogs, Facebook, travel, taxes, children, tragedy… okay, that’s a start…

How do we deal with it? This is every day, every moment…how do we get things done? It is just amazing to me what we endure, what we tolerate, what we cause and who we inflict our pain on. It usually ends up on the doorstep of our children or our spouse. I remember seeing Don Rickles in Miami back in the 70’s and he had a line…”You only make fun of the ones you love” … I was to young to understand what he was saying, but now that line usually is, “You only hurt the ones you love”

Our lives today are drenched in stress, its all around us. When we get stressed we react and too often that reaction hurts somebody, and it is usually someone close to us. The world can be a cruel and loving place, all at the same time. How we react is what is important. Today I feel bad that so many people are in pain, both physically and mentally. Broken relationships, strife, challenges and the list could go on and on. Finding someone or something that can help you through that is a key.

I have no solutions that are cut and dried to fix all. I search between words of inspiration and silence. Try to put the positive thoughts in my mind and then share them with others. I have a good job, a nice home, a wonderful family and good friends. My health is good, my dog is happy and the electricity is on. Yet sometimes my mind only finds the troubles in my life and dwells on that. What a tragedy.

Thank you for letting me ramble this morning. What is the point of this message? Maybe there is not one and that is okay, that is the point, maybe. Or it could be that we are all in this struggle together, or we all share this wonderful thing called life, together. When you make it through the day and you can still smile, that is a victory. When you make it through the day, period, that too is a victory. When you can help others smile…now that is a blessing! Share a smile…..