Words For A Friend

Christmas day I got the news that a friend of mine had passed away. I want share some words that I wrote that morning on his behalf.

This morning I was sitting in my sister in law’s house contemplating scents, yes scents. You see, I am a big scent guy, I love candles, incense and the smell of fresh rain on trees. I had mentioned to my sister in law that her house smelled marvelous and I knew it was from the fresh Christmas tree that was in the room.

So I started thinking of the scent of candles, a HUGE industry I might add, and I thought how the wax was infused with a scent that when lit gives off a wonderful smell…yet, with all candles, the scent does not have staying power and seems to fade or blend in after a while to the point that it has no impact at all.

Then there is incense, with a strong odor (My favorite is jasmine) that really takes over a room. The scent is strong and all encompassing. The trouble with incense is that after it is burned the fresh aromatic scent goes away and a heavy mud like presence takes over. You walk into a room an hour after it has burned and you smell nothing but YUCK!

So that leaves the real deal, like my sister in law’s Christmas Tree. A fresh cut tree, that they trimmed  and kept the trimmings to decorate their fireplace mantel. She said that the needles can be a bit tedious to clean up but it was well worth it. The thing about that fresh cut tree is that it smelled the same, strong and pure, every time you walked in the room.

You know, both the candle and the incense are something that has to be infused with a scent to become attractive. Wax alone does nothing for anyone in the scent arena, and the composite that makes up incense has no redeeming value in the smell area either. Yet that tree, all it had to do is be what it is, without pretense, without help and it changed the room.

Well people are the same way. Some are candles that can be whatever you want them to be. They can dress up all nice and fancy and play the part and for a short period of time, they can have a positive effect on you. Yet, after a bit of time the “scent” wears off and you find them, well, kind of boring. The other thing is that you have to LIGHT the candle, and sometimes people are not very much fun either unless they are lit.

Then there is the incense person. They come on strong and with a lot of “personality” and for a while you really enjoy their presence. They can change a room with their vibrancy and presence, but in the end it is just the strong scent that you enjoy, when they leave there is a lasting negativity that remains behind. We all have met a person of this ilk.

So that leaves us with the real deals, the Christmas trees of people. First of all, they do not try to be something they are not. You can buy candles and incense that are “Christmas Tree” scents, but you cannot buy a Christmas tree that is trying to be a candle, it never will try. The tree is just that, the tree, and some people are the same way. They come into the room, change the atmosphere and you know you are in the presence of the real thing. They have a refreshing presence that you look forward to.

Our friend, Josh Tabares, was the Christmas Tree. He was the real deal, without pretense or a phony facade. He dressed his own way, he walked his own way and he cared for others in his unique own way. He left us way to soon, with a lot of work still to be done, yet he left an indelible lasting impression on everyone he met, me included. So take a moment to think about the “Christmas Trees” in your life, the real deals, those rare people that walk the walk and talk the talk, the “Josh Tabares'” that you know. Thank them for what they bring to the table and recognize that you are lucky to have a few in your life….

Live life to the fullest and inspire others!!!

About rtg7

Leadership trainer, consultant, and educator. Maximizing and developing human potential for leaders and organizations.
This entry was posted in Dale Carnegie. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Words For A Friend

  1. Jonathan says:

    Real people. I feel sometimes I can be the incense guy, but to those who truly know me they see the redness. That incense guy in me though is present. This reminds me I need to work harder thanks again Bob.

    • rtg7 says:

      Jonathan, I always enjoy your input…I appreciate your friendship and how much you care about helping others grow..NGC is lucky to have a man like you on their team…

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